Friday, March 30, 2012

Fun with Mega Millions and Temple football

"You won't believe this, but we just got a donation of $231 million" Bill Bradshaw
tells a puzzled Steve Addazio.

My Mega Millions' ticket Stephen Colbert's both have something in common, No. 6 as the all-important Mega Ball number tonight.
Colbert got to his number a little bit differently than I did, picking 1-2-3-4-5 as his first five and six as his Mega Ball number.
Heck, I know both Colbert and I have the same chance of winning (zero) but it is fun to think about so I made it a game with two lines based on "some" (not all) of my favorite Temple football players.
I went with No. 6 because it was the number worn by Paul Palmer, the Temple football player who came closest to winning the Heisman Trophy (second, 1986).
Palmer's line: 12 (Brian Broomell), 26 (Anthony Young), 43 (Adrian Robinson), 52 (Stephen Johnson) and 55 (Steve Conjar). 12-26-43-52-55 (6).
Steve Conjar
Then I went with a line featuring Maxwell Award winner Steve Joachim (9) that includes Matt Brown (2),  New Mexico Bowl MVP Chris Coyer (10), Brandon McManus (19), Ahkeem Smith (24) and Bernard Pierce and Garden State Bowl MVP  Mark Bright (30). That line reads 2-10-19-24-30 (9).
I'm only spending $2 to win $640 million because you don't have to be a mathematician to figure out that purchasing $4 worth of tickets doesn't double your chance of winning.
If I'm the only winner, I'll "settle" for the cash payout of $462 million and give half to Temple football via the Xtra Point Club. The only condition is that Temple spend it on a new stadium and name it "Temple University Stadium" or, at the very least, purchase the naming rights to Lincoln Financial Field and call it "Temple University Stadium."
(Hey, if Akron can build a beautiful stadium for $61.6 million five years ago, Temple can build something slightly better for $231 million. It already has the land, 15th Street and Norris to 15th and Montgomery.)
That's it.  I'll scrape by on the other $231 million.
Matt Brown will be wearing No. 2 this year.

I'm serious, too. Temple's lawyers can consider this post a promisory note.
Once they get the money, it is theirs to spend under no further conditions and no further suggestions from me. (It would be nice, though, if it gave Temple fans the security of knowing another program won't be able to poach their coach at the end of every season.)
I'll give the money to Bill Bradshaw and Steve Addazio at halftime of the spring game on April 14 with one of those oversized white checks with Cherry writing.
I don't have kids and only one living relative so I can afford to do this.
In addition to the tangible cash contribution, an ancillary benefit is that Temple football becomes the No. 1 story in the Philadelphia media. I'm sure the cynical professional sports media will be calling me crazy but it will be crazy like a fox because any publicity is good publicity when it comes to putting Temple TUFF front and center of Philly sports talk.
Heck, with a jackpot like this, maybe the talk of the nation as well.
It would be fun to find out.
No Mercedes or Porches, strippers, mansions, like that guy from West Virginia who besmirched an otherwise great sports broadcasting name  (Jack Whitaker) for me. Maybe a Hurricane-proof six-month-a-year snowbird getaway house near Tampa, Fla., an HDTV and a new Chevy and I'm good to go.
Now comes the hard part. Getting those numbers to come up.